Thoughts #1

The heights of great men reached and kept,
Were not obtained by sudden flight,
But they, while their companions slept
Were toiling upward in the night.
~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I find that I have no time anymore during the weeks. My schedule is set from when I get up until the time that I leave work. By that time, I'm too tired to do anything but seek about an hour of repose before retiring to bed. When I do go to bed, in my style, I throw on the West Wing or Boston Legal and watch until I fall asleep, but I have to be honest, lately I find myself only remembering about 5 minutes past the music before I fall into that sweet coma of sleep. I used to get in at least a couple of episodes each night.

I am certainly not unhappy with my current state of being, but I find myself wondering in awe. ME? Benjamin Ryan Suderman? Surely, the guy who used to be defined by trying to get out of work, asking off early, and ALWAYS striving to find ways to work smarter so that he didn't have to work harder is not working extra hours when none are forced. Surely, that must be someone else, who is even now only taking a small break from his work to leave a long awaited post to the multitudes. Who the hell have I become? And the answer comes to me...

Barry Dean Suderman

My father is the main person in my life that has taught me that hard work is not only demanded of man, but is one of the things in life that brings satisfaction. I was made by the hand of God and turns out... He made me to be able to put my head down and go to work. How amazing! I watched my father as a young man, thinking to myself, "Why does he work so much? Doesn't he know that life is not all about work?" I don't know that I've completely turned around on this particular sentiment, but I must say that I at least understand the motivation. It's rewarding!

I think how miserable a job is while watching the clock. All day, "When will it be quitting time?","When do I go on break next?","How long until I can get to the living of life?" Yeah, I know that I'm in the minority on this, and I certainly think that my opinion is my own and do not wish to spread, what I imagine other's would call, my mental disease. But I just don't want to live unsatisfied, and for the time being I've found something that makes me happy. So, yeah...